As another year of my life comes to a close I'm checking in with my heavenly father. I have a lot to work on and I want to be everything he created me to be. I have found self reflection and criticism satisfying and necessary for character growth. But to find the time to shut out the noise and open my ears and hands to God can be very challenging for me. I enjoy keeping busy and as much as I pride myself on this quality it can be very debilitating as the "to-do list" is never ending. Tim McGraw's song, "My next thirty years" seems very appropriate; "I'll think I'll take a moment to celebrate my age. The ending of an era and the turning of a page. Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here. Lord have mercy on my next thirty years." When we reach this point we all hope we will be different, focus on our health, drink less, be happier, forgive and forget, figure out just what we're doing here, and how it will be the best years of our lives raising our families and spending precious moments with the ones that mean the most to us. But does this just happen? Will I wake up tomorrow and be the person that I so desire to be? So I'm writing a letter to myself that I will read regularly until I have it engrained in my mind so I don't wake up and have no recollection of where my life has gone.
Dear Amy,
Start every morning with a prayer, put on the armor of God, invite your heavenly father into your day and ask him to take all of your stress and turn it into something good. Pray all the time. Plead with him, reminding him of your needs. Love your husband and children through your actions and words and remember to always be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Proverbs 21:9 says "It is better to live in the corner of an attic than with a crabby woman in a lovely home" and verse 19 says "Better to live in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining woman." Don't be that wife and mother. The laundry will get done, the house will get cleaned and once it all is done the clothes will need cleaning again and the house will get dirty. Such is life, learn to enjoy the chaos. Play music, dance, smile even when you feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Stop and go to God again. Ask him to carry whatever is bringing you down on days you feel you can't stay on top of it AND thank him continuously on the days you feel you have it all together. Ask God to lift you up on the wings of eagles and make you to shine like the sun. With God all things are possible. Proverbs 31:10 says "If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him but help him all her life. Verse 30 says "...beauty doesn't last, but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised. Praise her for the many fine things she does. These good deeds of hers shall bring her honor and recognition." Be this woman.
Remember everyday that nothing speaks louder or more powerfully than a life of integrity. Have a solid character. Even though you like to please others learn to speak up for what you believe in. Horace Greeley wrote: "Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures." Remember to always build on your character and keep asking God to help you become the person he made you to be. Never stop growing. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. He will and has blessed you with the desires of your heart do not be too caught up in life to take notice!! Live for the moment, live like you were dying. Keep your priorities straight: God, family, friends, health. Love on others. Rejoice with others when they have good things happen to them and don't think why them and not me. Romans 9:16 says, "God's blessings are not given just because someone decides to have them or works hard to get them. They are given because God takes pity on those he wants to." Pray for your enemies and the ones that hate you.
Continue to help others with their health and encourage them to live well, you've spent half of your life learning about the human body and what it needs. Eventually people will listen to you. Do not get discouraged; for this is what God made you to do! Remember not to feel guilty to take time to do things for yourself even though you feel that only what you do for others is important. Remember this is not true and it's part of your service to the Lord to not neglect your physical health just as it is important to not neglect your mental and spiritual health. Continue to eat foods that build you up, strengthen, and increase your vitality along with consistent exercise that rejuvenates, renews and strengthens you. Put the care of your body in HIS hands.
Abide by God's laws and follow them. Then you will find great peace and nothing will cause you to stumble. Work hard and with gladness all of the time. For those sweet little boys of yours, don't fail to correct and discipline them. Remember Gods says punishment and good discipline will keep them out of hell. Teach the boys to choose the right path and when they are older they will remain on it. In Proverbs 22:15 it says, "A youngsters heart is filled with rebellion but punishment will drive it out of him." Discipline with love, you are their parent not their friend. And for yourself don't refuse to accept criticism, invite all the help you can get. (vs 12).
Thirty seems so old but remember someday you will look back and see it is just a stepping stone from where you've come and where you will go. Remember the boys will grow up and move away and time is not on your side. Hold onto Nathan and the boys and this time in your life so you can look back and know that you lived your life to the fullest. I'll leave you with one last verse as it has brought you through years of challenges. "Do not worry about anything instead pray about everything. Tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace which is far more wonderful than the human mind can comprehend. Let his peace keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.
Enjoy these next thirty+ years girl.