Do you believe that the Lord will provide you with what you need? I find myself wavering when I try to grasp this concept in its entirety. I often feel that my future is my sole responsibility. Sure I know that God provides my needs; but it’s up to me to make things happen…right? I am frantically clawing and trying to grasp anything to control my doubts and insecurities. I struggle with the balance between trusting and control every single minute of every single day. The truth is I’m so weak on my own. One moment my mind is focused and trusting that God will take care of whatever my problem may be for that day and the next minute I feel my heart beating loudly in my ears and my anxiety starts feeding my thoughts and mind with that inevitable question… “But what if….” Fill in the blank. It reminds me of the exodus and the Israelites, God’s chosen people. God frees them from slavery in Egypt through miraculous plagues and by devouring Pharoah’s army in the sea after he parted it for the Israelites to walk through. I mean, I’d like to think that if I had lived through that experience I would never doubt God. Yet we see them consistently not following God’s plan for them. After wandering the desert for 40 years with God providing food and water; they cried out for meat and even whined about going back to Egypt where they had leeks and great food. I mean seriously? You want to go back to slavery so you can eat leeks? Reading through this I can see that disconnect and the big picture of God saying that if His people, the Israelites, will only follow his commands, then He will be with them and they will prosper. After all of the miracles He does for them they still don’t listen. They take matters into their own hands and the consequences are devastating. They keep doubting that God will provide their needs.
It’s the same for us. God sees the big picture. He knew what was best for the Israelites but let them decide for themselves. In the same way he calls us to trust and follow him. But it’s our choice. The definition of trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. To put this into context, to trust God means to trust in him for reliability, truth, ability and strength. This world tells us we must be in control and number one. This world says that we are the ones that control our finances, our time and our decisions. How could God know better than we do? Maybe we doubt that God can fully understand our circumstances or maybe he will forget about us. Or maybe our requests seem petty and so we think, “I’ll handle this one, I wouldn’t want to bother God with my concerns. He already provides so much for me anyway.” Or maybe there is just a total lack of respect in God and his will, just as we find repeatedly with the Israelites. I believe that this is the enemy 100% of the time. God knows our hearts. He knows each one of our unique needs and only He can provide us with what we really need vs. what the world tells us we need. God is telling us, just as he told the Israelites; IF we follow and trust Him THEN He will provide for us, THEN He will give us the desires of our hearts, THEN He will provide us with our needs. We know our weaknesses and without God’s strength and help we bow to stress and allow our sinful nature to protect our insecurities and often take things out on the ones we love in the process. When I find myself in these messes it’s because I did not solely rely on God. I took matters into my own hands, even if unknowingly so, and now God is left to clean up all of the pieces as I break down at his feet. No matter what the situation is that hinders our trust in Him, He is aware of it. Honestly He already knows so why wouldn’t we go to Him, in everything. In the song “Oceans” by Hillsong UNITED it says, “ Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior”. I love this. This complete relinquishing of all fear, anxiety, stress , and whatever hinders us. Choosing to take up the cross and head straight into those messes because we know that He will not give us more than we can handle and we want the strongest faith that is possible. I can see myself standing in the water of the unknown, my earthly frail self tells me I will fail and I am not enough especially when challenges seem to stack block after block of worries and doubt and finally the weight of it all collapses right on top of me. But it is in these moments that God does His best work on our faith. God knows the desires of our hearts. Psalm 37:4 is one of my favorite verses and says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He created me and He knows me just as He created you and knows you inside and out. How can I think that I know best? I know that God is good 100% of the time. Even through circumstances that bring sadness and pain, He is good. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” If we choose to follow His plan, His purpose for our life; then we know that everything will work out for good. This is very empowering. I am choosing to trust that He will provide everything that I need through any and all circumstances. I am accepting that I am weak and will continue to have doubts, fears and fail, but by grace He accepts me anyway, and with His strength I am made whole. He is enough. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. IF we do this THEN we will find peace and God promises to provide us with everything we need; and into the water, the great unknown, we go.
Proverbs 3:1-12
1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.
3 Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; 10 then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.
11My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.